BILLY THE ZOMBIE KID

Another poster... For a movie that doesn't exst.

This is another movie we might put in our pilot. It's based on a script Patrick and I really wrote called ...AND THE DEAD MAKE THREE... But for the purposes of terribling it up (even more) for the Idea Factory pilot, we'll use it's working title... BILLY THE ZOMBIE KID RIDES AGAIN AT FORT ZOMBIE.

Furthermore we are throwing out the actual plot and making it ridiculous. So the new plot is as follows: There are three months at the end of Billy the Kids life that are unaccounted for, before he was unceremoniously dispatched by Pat Garret... Why are the unaccounted for??? Because the dead don't keep good records. Billy and his gang have turned into zombies and have begun reeking havoc on the Southwest. The law seeks out only man who can stop him... Pat Garret. Pat and his team of zombie hunters are charged with the duty of tracking down and exterminating the zombie menace for the good of all mankind.

Yeah, that's a good enough premise as any.

Artwork by: BENJI SMITH

TIME SOLDIER POSTER

This is a reworked poster for a fictional movie that we're putting in our Pilot. The premise is as follows: Jason Statham travels through time fighting armies... ALL Armies all the time. His "ONLY" weapon... a T-Rex decked out with a robo-arm and laser cannon. Take that Holy Roman Empire. (Laser Blast)

TAGLINE: You and WHAT Army?

Artwork by: BENJI SMITH

Party Kids!

11:22 AM Jason: jossssssssh

...

11:44 AM Josh: Hey Buddy! You rested up after a along weekend of back breaking labor?

...

,

11:50 AM Jason: yes I feel good now

I FEEL GOOD

11:53 AM Josh: WORD!

How's the new place shaping up?

Jason: ow my back

Josh: NOOOO!!!!

Jason: it's looking nice

Josh: I have a hotpack

Jason: I mean the whole bills coming and work ending thing is a little bit you know, nerve inducing

11:54 AM do you ????

but I'm sure it'll work out

still trying to lock down some roommates for march

11:55 AM Josh: I here ya. I don't think my roommate is feeling it, but i'll see if we can't come by this week and at least take a look.

11:56 AM Jason: yeah know worries, just throwing it out there, all should come byPARTY HOUSE

(except when the landlord's kids are taking a nap, shuuush)

...

12:02 PM Josh: NO... WE PARTY!!! Napping or not! KIDS NEED TO PARTY... for more info check out my website.

12:03 PM www.PBS.ORG/PARTYKIDS

12:06 PM Jason: PARTYKIDS

wait is that real

cause all I see is WHOOPS

...

12:45 PM Josh: No it isn't real

...

12:58 PM Josh: I made up a show... about two rambunctious 8 year old kids, named Josh and Jason.

called PARTY KIDS

Jason: :O

12:59 PM Josh: Okay we made up the show, but I made up a name...a terrible name.

1:02 PM Jason: terrible - AWESOME

1:03 PM wow I botched that

...

1:08 PMJason: it is a great show

an average name

Josh: Slightly below average name

1:09 PM You want some lunch

...

1:11 PM Jason: oh god I can't order new internet service because my landlord hasn't paid his bill yet

frustration riiiiiising

1:12 PM Josh: What???

He needs to get his shit together

Jason: it will be an interesting conversation considering the language barrier

1:14 PM Josh: It must be a rule, that if you're going to own a property in CA you can't be a native, or have a grasp of the language.

1:16 PM At least if you are to run a property.

Jason: maybe buying property infects you with a virus that slowly kills your retention of your native language

1:17 PM right now we're only at a 5 on the racism scale

lets move this into 8

1:18 PM Josh: We also hate jews!

1:19 PM Oh...We are so racist. :D

This Shit is Boring Sometimes...

They can't all be exciting...

10:23 AM

Jason: GOOD MORNING

10:33 AM Josh: hey bud

10:50 AM Jason: whats the good news

11:08 AM Josh: nada... you?

11:11 AM Jason: :(

uh

uhhhhhh

let me think

11:12 AM Josh: yes?

11:13 AM Jason: nada

11:14 AM Josh: that's okay

11:15 AM this shit is boring sometimes

Jason The Teacher

Jason is such a good teacher you guys!

11:08 AM
Jason: you'll be getting your valentine's gift tommorow

;) ;) ;)

SORRY WRONG WINDOW

LOL

11:09 AM Josh: :'(

Jason: ROFLMAO

11:11 AM Josh: So who was that for? You have a special lady?

Jason: nah not this year

past 3 sorta

yes

but now

noooooo

nOOOOOOO

OH GOD THE PAIN

tears are flowing so fast

11:15 AM ok I'm over it

I can use that money to buy beer this year

right

RIGHT

HAHAHAHA

HAAHAHAAAAAAAABLOO BLOO BLOO

...

11:29 AM Josh: Jason it's okay... Once we get our web-series of us as 8 year olds up and running, you're gonna get so many chicks.

11:30 AM But seriously... are you cheating on me with this other IM person? Is it Anna? are you cheating on me with Anna? It's Anna, right?Do you guys have a show idea where you are 9 yr olds?

Jason: sniff no

it was all a ruse

I wanted you to think I was cool

:(

11:31 AM Josh: RIGHT! I've been burned by the likes of you before.

x-(

11:32 AM I wanted a suspicious emoticon, but this s the best I could do.

11:34 AM Jason: hmmmm

:-/

Josh: pretty good

11:35 AM :-/

but this <3>

Jason: I feel like
:(|)
Josh: That's awesome

11:36 AM Jason: B-)

Josh: Where'd you get the monkey?

Jason: it's like ordering animal style on the menu

11:37 AM here you do

: ( | )

but put it together

11:38 AM Josh: :(I)

Jason: almost

it's the one above the return key

Josh: it looks like a clam... or a vagina with an STD

11:39 AM :(|)

Jason: BAM

MAGIC

Josh: That was magical

11:42 AM Thanks J

I have a new way to impress the ladies... by that, I mean my mom

SON YOUR MOM'S A COUGAR IN THE SACK

11:22 PM Make it Stop Guys...please make it stop.

Jason: man your parents can party

I just hung out with them

right now

Josh: word

my mom is hammered

Jason: they are the bees knees

Josh: Just hammered

the cat's pajamas

Jason: does your mom get super hammered in front of you now

for reals

mine does

so does dad

then they recant

11:23 PM BOY SON YOUR MOM IS A COUGAR IN THE SACK

and I go

Oh god please no

Josh: no my mom and step-dad don't drink

but i feel your pain

11:24 PM my dad and step-mom get drunk and they are newlyweds and they get all huggy and shit it's gross.

Jason: ewwwwwwwww

old people being

physical

Josh: gross

11:25 PM my dad leaves his cialis and viagra rx out on the counter

Jason: do they take cialas

then get in bath tubs by the ocean

that seems to be how that stuff works

11:27 PM Josh: yeah and my dad has this band that reworks old songs into viagra jingles

It's Awesome!
They JAM!

You Want a Towel?

Jason and Josh lead a rich fantasy life...
5:52 PM
Jason: I am so sweaty

not in a good way

5:54 PM Josh: BOO HISS!!!

You want a towel?

5:55 PM Jason: thanks kid

(jason took off his jersey, and gave it to a young josh)

5:56 PM Josh: EWW!!! it's all sweaty and hairy...

Jason: so hairy

Josh: (Josh drops it and does a sissy dance)

(Like he's scared of the germs)

5:57 PM (He then puts it on and drinks copious amounts of antibacterial hand sanitizer)

6:00 PM Jason: eww

ewwwww

you crazy kid

6:01 PM Josh: Hey Jason, You suck!

(he then passes out)

Jason: :(

Josh: But, I don't think this is why

the kid in the scene does that, though

6:02 PM Jason: oh, ok good

Josh: A jersey killed his parents

he's bitter

Jason: that makes sense

Religion, Racism, and the Black Knight

Contrary to popular belief, we like to talk about the issues you guys...

12:04 PM
Jason: good morrow

fair botana

12:05 PM Josh: and the same to you fine sir

Jason: I'm stuck in medieval times

Josh: the fairest

Jason: the concept restaurant entertainment place

not back in time

Josh: I love that place. I'm glad they're letting you telecommute from your other job12:06 PM are you the black Knight yet?

Jason: we were just talking about black knight

it is so racist

he clearly goes back in time

but he's still all

WHERE THE KFC AT

12:07 PM Josh: yeah he likes chicken... but he's more of a Popeye's kind of knight... if you know what I mean.

12:08 PM Jason: he's black?

I don't get it

he's really black?

Josh: He's black???

12:09 PM ... No he likes Popeye's better because he's southern... you're a racist.

12:13 PM Jason: :(

why am I such a bad person

12:17 PM Josh: You're just as god made you Jason. Relish in that fact... God has forsaken you.

Jason: noooooooooo

12:18 PM VISHNU WHY HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR FAVORITE SON

Josh: you're a jew

that's why

12:19 PM Jason: oh yeah

duh

I love draddles

Josh: I actually have no idea what you are, but I'm a guess... Catholic? or something WASPY

...

12:20 PMJason: Agnostic, but I appreciate the subtle racial undertonesJosh: I hate you

Jason: I believe mostly in ghosts and telepathy, and i feel like traditional religion doesn't satisfy those beliefs

12:21 PM me: I am also agnostic, but I meant, what you were raised?

12:22 PM Jason: i guess uh babtist

baptist

beeptossed

12:26 PM me: oh then, I really do hate you then. Being that I was raised catholic, or is it baptist that hate catholics?

12:27 PM anyway I could never hate you

TOP BUNK!

that's what I'll yell every time I come home to our new apt.

12:29 PM Jason: dang i wanted top bunk

baptist just think catholics are stupid

catholics think baptists are so retarded

something about jesus

12:30 PM is the main issue

12:31 PM me: Oh yeah, we put emphasis on different parts of the same book or something

Jason: the same book written by dudes thousands of years ago who were trying to explain why people do bad things

My Meth Lab is on Fire...

We get tired you guys...

1:05 PM

Josh: hey stompy

Jason: hey

uh

stompy

no wait

shit

Josh: you got nothing

Jason: :(

1:06 PM Josh: hey buck up classy gent

1:08 PM Jason: aw ok

happy stomp

Josh: that never gets old

1:12 PM Jason: ever

EVER

1:15 PM Josh: you busy up there today?

1:18 PM Jason: eh I've been doing some shit

1:19 PM and just trying to hustle it out

not because I care

but because I want to get back to my fan fiction

1:20 PM Josh: I hear that. I'm your # 1 fan fic fan... That Charles in Charge: Charles/Buddy fic is amazing

Jason: the mars adventure one?

yeah I'm proud of that one

1:21 PM Josh: OMG my FAV

1:22 PM or is that fave... anyway I love it.

Jason: ok good

FAVVVVVV

1:27 PM Josh: you are a fantastic fan fic writer

1:30 PM Jason: i try so hard

god damn i'm so tired

arhghhhhhhhhh

Josh: drink some coffee

or shoot some meth into your eyeball

1:31 PM Jason: but its so hot outside josh

so hot

meth is a good idea

i've never done it in my eyeball!

Josh: it'll wake you up.

Jason: ok gonna cook some meth

Josh: believe you me

Jason: brb

...

1:38 PM Jason: ok josh

1:39 PM my meth lab is on fire

suggestions

?

1:40 PM Josh: Do you have a fire extinguisher?

spray it into a bag and huff that...

Jason: i may have used the extinguisher to create the lab itself

Josh: it will fuck you up and you'll forget about the fire.

Jason: flames are on the alls now

1:41 PM walls

i'll take more meth

will that help

Josh: of course.

i'll call 911

1:42 PM you try and calm down.

Jason: ok

i'm tripping ballllls

1:43 PM Josh: did another one of your labs blow up this morning, maybe by the 405?

...

1:56 PM Jason: uh

uhhhhhhhhhhh

who's asking

1:58 PM Josh: not the police who are monitoring this IM with me... I mean not monitoring.

1:59 PM Jason: ok i've got good news and bad news

the good news is the fire is out

the bad news is I had to mix the water supply with all the on fire drugs to put it out

Josh: what!

2:00 PM Jason: sorry

I'm high as shit!

Josh: but I am so tired... and want to get high too.

2:01 PM oh well I'll just cook up a batch down here

Jason: ok

high five stomp

GAWD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Election Night Coverage

9:21 PM

Jason: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIT

Josh: I know!!!!!!!!!

this is crazy

My dad just moved out of the country

Jason: hahah

9:22 PM dude my brothers were just like

hey what are you doing tonight

I said, watching the historic election

and all I got was

"?"

Josh: jesus

9:23 PM My dad was giving me so much shit today about how fucked we are if Obama wins. So I guess we're fucked.

Jason: haha

9:27 PM Josh: cue McCain's death in

5

4

3

9:28 PM 2

1

awwwwwwwwww

9:30 PM Sarah Palin would have been the worst VP and female role model in the history of the world

9:33 PM Jason: haha

yeah

she would have

Josh: seriously though... little girls would have looked up to a retard.

9:34 PM I am so happy right now

9:35 PM America didn't let me down... for once!

Jason: i can't stop smiling

seriously

Josh: I am the same way

this is really a great time

well, except for how fucked the country is

Jason: i have hope in my country again

i'm probably gonna cry during his speech

like a BIG GIRL

9:36 PM hahahaha

Josh: we have a lot of work my friend

and yes I'm crying thinking about you crying

...

9:46 PM Josh: Brian Williams just said "the first use of the 'M' word", but I was only half paying attention, and it seemed like a pregnant pause before he said "mandate".

9:48 PM Jason: haha

GRAVITAS

...

10:16 PM Jason: GAWD BLESS AMERICA

10:17 PM Josh: INDEED SIR!

Obama is so awesome

we have a president that can actually talk

I am so happy

maybe Europe will like us again

10:18 PM probably not... but maybe!

Kudos Bars, Astronauts, and the Cruel Nature of the Universe

Jason and Josh like Space and Astronauts... and making up commercials for stuff.

11:43 AM

Jason: In an ideal world we would make the short where the astronaut's stranded for 5 minutes with a box of kudos and kills himself trying to get to them...

and then I could read all the people talking about how delicious kudos are in the youtube comments

11:48 AM Josh: I love that short idea. Who doesn't love delicious Kudos... That would be quite a conundrum.

11:49 AM Jason: they are all like "Josh we will pick you up in literally 5 minutes, DO NOT TAKE OFF YOUR HELMET TO TRY AND EAT KUDOS"

Josh: BUT I AM SO HUNGRY

11:50 AM I haven't eaten in like 30 minutes

Jason: Josh you can eat Kudos when we get back on the shuttle

Just WAIT 4 AND A HALF MORE MINUTES

Josh: Man, I'm hungry

I can't wait! Let me just unbuckle this...

11:51 AM Jason: oh noooooooooooooo

Josh: Turn this valve here...

Jason: we lose more astronauts that way

Josh: Hold my breath like so....and

Jason: haha

I like him doing the work in his head

about how he will do it

11:52 AM it makes perfect sense

I can hold my breath and eat...
3:50 PM

Josh: I WANT A KUDOS SOOOOO BBBBBAAAAAAADDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

3:51 PM Jason: JOSH NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo

pishhhh yum!

FRRRRRROZEN

3:52 PM Josh: Josh's corpse floats through the infinite abyss of space

3:53 PM Jason: a silent reminder of the cruel nature of the universe

fate cares not of love or family, race creed or religion

death comes to everyman

BROUGHT TO YOU BY KUDOS

CRUNCH INTO ONE TODAY

3:56 PM Josh: Kudos and Hoover Vacuums... The only Vacuums that rival the Vacuum of Space... Try us and you'll see! We SUCK HARD!

3:58 PM Jason: is the meaningless of exsistence represented in the slowly dying warmth of the universe getting you down?

then EAT A KUDOS

4:00 PM Josh: Kudos: Fueling Innovation

Jason: I like the vacuum of space

4:01 PM Josh: I like vacuums in space

Jason: IS THE DIRT ON YOUR FLOORS LEAVING YOU COLDER THEN ABSOLUTE ZERO?

Josh: YES!

BUT HOW COULD I EVER FIX IT??? (confused look)

Jason: WELL FIRST YOU SHOULD KNOW NOTHING IS COLDER THEN ABSOLUTE ZERO

4:02 PM THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE WITH PHYSICS

Josh: ??????? (more confused)(head scratch)

(Drooling)

Jason: SECOND, BUY A HOOVER VACCUM 7000SP, WHOSE SUCKING POWER RIVALS THAT OF A QUANTUM SINGULARITY

4:03 PM AND BANISH ALL OF YOUR DIRT TO THE HYPOTHETICAL PARALLEL DIMENSION THAT EXISTS BEYOND THE EVENT HORIZON OF A BLACK HOLE

MASTER BLASTER DAY 5

MASTER BLASTER DAY 5: Should be read in Ascending order: Day 1 to Day 5

4:28 PM Josh: I think I just found Blaster

Jason: :O

4:29 PM Josh: He works in transpo and is sitting by a computer and eating a banana

Jason: WHAT

Josh: he's scary

Jason: SHOCK STOMP

Josh: nice

Jason: does he know how to use a computer?

or is he just like

4:30 PM GRAHJosh: he is just eating and staring at me

now he's punching the monitor

oh shit he's coming at me

4:31 PM owwwwwwwwwww

he put me on his back

now, I run barter town

Jason: oh god

4:32 PM RUN JOSH

oh wait

now you're master

sweet!

MASTER BLASTER DAY 4

MASTER BLASTER DAY 4
Jason: Master Blaster got .02% of the vote

in California

1:41 PM Josh: Boo Hiss!!! they will feel his wrath

Jason: at least he was relected in barter town

Josh: true

So... How long do you think it took for Michelle to throw her husband down and be like, " I want to fuck the President."?

1:42 PM Jason: i imagine it happened last night

OH MR PRESIDENT

1:43 PM Josh: she totally called him mr. president

Jason: right after the speech

in the car back to the hotel

Josh: that's my thought

I know I'd bang my wife right away

Jason: i mean that is the hottest way it could go

in my mind

just like

celebrations all around

the lights of the city passing by

mmm

Josh: first AA president sex...crazy!

1:44 PM Jason: michele hikes up her skirt, she's been waiting for this all night....

oh god I'm about to write fan fiction

stoooooop